You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize