yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
