Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize
