the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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