sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i will never coherently bang her
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
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