when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
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