I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
