he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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