Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
