your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
