Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Randomize
