thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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