is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
My dad is sitting where you rode me
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
