Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
