Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
