Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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