Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
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