we're blogging at a bar
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
