She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
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