The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
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