Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
