Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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