i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
