i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
