Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
