they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize