no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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