69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
tequila makes me forget i have legs
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
