Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
