What a fucking waste of an outfit
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
