....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
