I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
