u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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