You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
