dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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