you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
