No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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