I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
People in love make me want to vomit
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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