kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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