It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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