NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
