he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
they're like a gay fantastic four
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
