if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
