Screwed.edu
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
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