4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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