Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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