Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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