Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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