Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
My penis needs a shock collar
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
