i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize