My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
She announced her abortion via fbk
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
