I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
