I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
