I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
