So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i wish my penis had a tongue
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
