Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
