It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
