...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
