hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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