he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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