don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
