She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
my shit smells like andre
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Randomize
