i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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