Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
