Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
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