Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
it's not cheating when I paid for it
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
