They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
she woke up with a sticky ear
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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