i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
