I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
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